Cheney spies Osama in Texas backcountry, shoots to kill

Impatient with the string of failures to catch Osama Bin Laden, Vice President Dick Cheney was overheard at a recent fundraiser saying "Hell, I'll go shoot that motherf** my damn self!"

Cheney headed to the backcountry of Texas on the advice of CIA analysts who confidently predicted Bin Laden would be hiding among a flock of Quail in the Texas underbrush.


















"I would have bagged Bin Laden if that moron hadn't stepped in front of my damn gun!", Cheney said as he left the Texas hospital bedside of his former friend Harry Whittington.